Lullabies are canceled.
Anything she can watch in 10-minute increments while doing laundry....
Because they don't have the energy to explain everything to ungrateful little humans....
Ketchup!...
To get to the other slide!...
Because one day they might need to prove they bought you that toy you swore they never did....
A myth. She lost her voice yelling years ago....
So someone would finally listen to her for once....
Pretending to be asleep when the kids need something at 3 AM....
Because by the time they remember it exists, it's colder than their soul....
Because they're always up to something... that needs to be cleaned....
Any day that ends in "y" and involves cooking, cleaning, or existing....
She was already managing chaos at home, so work was easy mode....
A magician makes things disappear. A mom makes snacks disappear and then gets blamed for it....
Because they can fit all their disappointments in one vehicle....
Finding things in the fridge that are directly in front of her family's face....
She heard the drinks were on the house... and she wasn't paying for them....
Running late, jumping to conclusions, and carrying the weight of everyone's problems....
Silence. When kids are quiet, they're plotting something....
Because counting to 10 takes too long when you're about to lose it....
Being able to function on 3 hours of sleep and pure spite....